PWS WEEK 5 RECAP

The season was changing and some teams were... getting... stronger. So you see, some teams in this 2019 season, are like industry, in that they are both lost in the woods and nobody, especially the their owners "society", know where to find them. Except that the owners are people, but the PWS Fantasy football league my friends, that is a revolution.... KLEIN HIGH FOOTBALL RULES !

THE BOSS ASSES vs The Nature Boys

"Fuller goes for 3"

Some people would have you believe that doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Perhaps it is, but every week THE BOSS ASSES have started Will Fuller this season with high expectations. In week 5 Will Fuller V came alive. Matching 64% of The Nature Boys total scoring output. The Nature Boys took to the trade market with Hope's of rebounding. Trading away Mike Evans James White and Geronimo Allison for Todd Gurley Tarik Cohen and the Panthers Def. The move was suppose to "clear space" for early season dandy DJ Chark. With a match up with Lattimore coming I don't think the results will be sweet as candy.

Aaron's Party vs The Papa Burgundys

Philly joins the Party

The Party started week 4 and has only gained momentum. Which begs the question - can the party be stopped ? Not even the loss of Davante Adams, a single digit output from Rodgers or losing a starting RB could send people back to their shanties. The return of Tevin Coleman will almost certainly bring in more people to the party. Noise complaints are filing in from even the neighborhood across the street. One complaint came from Papa Burgundy himself - " go fuck yourselves Philadelphia". This dealt a crushing blow to Burgundy nation. They have tried changing it up. They lead the league in trades. With just 2 wins in the last 18 regular season games all hope seems lost... there's no way it can turn around... oh wait... now I remember The Papa Burgundys draw a week 6 match up against the Dirty Birds. Hope has been renewed. Faith has been restored. Chants of "NGU" and "Talk smack get smacked" can be heard around Burgundy facilities. Call me Bart Scott because I Can't wait for week 6.

Miller Gold Agency vs AggSwaggg

"McCaffery hurdles the swaggies"

CMC is quickly becoming this generations LT for fantasy. His combination of receiving rushing and scoring are unmatched right now in fantasy. The Agency may have the worst wrs in PWS, but it doesn't even matter. Having a top 5 RB and top 5 QB is a lethal recipe. Props to Dylan for acquiring both via trade. Let's not forget he left the draft with Sam Darnold as his starting QB. As for the Swaggies these are desperate times. So Desperate in fact that he came out of his cave and made his first trade in 5 years this morning. I feel as shocked as Pepper in the booth for a dodgeball match. At 1-4 wins will have to come fast and furious, but luckily week 6 should mark the return of The Cheetah. Will that be enough to return the swag ?

KHH vs Little Giants

"The Hoe's Pimps provide support"

This was a story of struggling stars and supporting cast. Both had struggling stars. Julio and Melvin Gordon combined for 7 while Keenan Allen has 1 point. Little Giants didn't have their supporting cast step up. The Hoes got 49 points from Lindsay + their kicker and defense. Both still look like top 5 teams, but George is in a prime spot to return to number one sooner than later. For weeks George has thrown out the idea of someone trading for Gurley. On this #tradetuesday it finally happened. Personally I have questions on just how this will improve the little giants. Perhaps they have their eyes set on another RB to start over James white as their RB2 or perhaps Kyler Murray will provide enough rushing production to make up for it.

The Peoples Champ vs The Dirty Birds

"Aaron Jones plays and wins Connect 4"

Midway through Sunday TPC was projected to lose by over 50 points. The Dirty Birds were getting drunk off their #12szn chants. What was Brett doing ? Watching a movie. Just chillin. Not worried at all. Almost as if he knew he was about to get 4 TDs from Aaron Jones plus over 200 yards from Amari Cooper. Simply amazing. This could turn out to be quite the swing game for these two formerly 2-2 teams.

The Replacements vs EDELman2783

"Watson shoots and scores... a lot"

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Despite being number one in the league Drew came up number 6 in the latest Power Rankings. On top of that Mike essentially guaranteed victory by saying he would be in the next IG video. All this disrespect woke up a sleeping giant in Watson who had laid dormant since week 1. Drew is still waiting on some of his core pieces to breakout, but at 5-0 he has all the time in the world for it to happen. For Mike, things are rather simple. Sure this was a tough loss to take when he scores 116, but Barkley is almost a lock to return week 7. Plus, 4-1 ain't so bad even for a Payroll Cowboy?



Who's ready for week 6 ?

KHH Week 5 Power Rankings

Here are the PWS Week 5 Power Rankings

Brought to you again by G-Baby.



Editor’s Note: Rankings take into account rest of the season projections. After all the trade madness in the last 24 hours, basing it purely on team performance to date wouldn’t do it justice.

1). EDELman2783- They don’t call him the best damn salesman in the country for no reason. The Payroll cowboy may have completed the most lopsided trade in PWS history. With Sequon coming back sooner than expected, and A.J. coming back fresh later in the season, the Payroll cowboy is prime for a green jacket run

2). KHH- The hoes drop a spot after a dismal performance in week 4. Too much hoe’n around and not enough pimp’n around? Catch my drift? However, as it was eluded to yesterday, George is never satisfied with his team. He started his weak having an overpriced wrap with a his rival, and made a deal with devil to secure his second handcuff. He thought this would be his last trade for a while. Then, our commish went into a deep spiral, and offered him his favorite hoe back. The hoes will be a force as long as they don’t start catching STDs down the line.

3). Little Giants- Phil’s team is stacked with WR#2 and WR#4 in his lineup. Oh yeah, he also has Alvin MF Kamara, and Todd Gurley. Can Gurley return to his normal self, or will Phil trade him away being so desperate to be a part of an elusive 3-team deal.

4). THE BOSS ASSES- The Boss Ass himself had been pleading to the league for weeks, to send him an RB. Santa came early, and delivered, not 1, but 2 Boss Ass RBs. If Gordon and stay of the WEEEEEEDDD (Stephen A. Voice), the BOSS Asses will surely be a force with Mahomes putting up 30 a week. Oh not to mention, OBJ has been straight trash, but we all know that won’t last for long, unless you were talking to G-baby.

5). The Nature Boys- You may be wondering, how does the team with most points in the league end up all the way down at 5? When you have James White and a SF RB as your 2^nd and 3^rd best RB, that’s how. With that said, the nature boys have a lot of promise. They have arguably the best 1-2 punch with Jackson and Evans. Sterling should be a WR2 after his next two weeks. Not to mention, he somehow trades the crab stealing, W eating, son of gun for some much needed depth. Can you say connectiiiiioooonnnn?

6). The Replacements- Again, how the hell is the first place team ranked 6^th? As I mentioned in the Editor’s note, these rankings are not solely weighted on team performance. While the replacements have taken care of business to-date, they have had the easiest schedule so far. Can’t blame him for who is on the schedule; however, his players have largely under performed expectations to date. I think that is a good thing, because it gets it out of their system. Sort of like waking up hungover, and you know you just have to do the 2-finger trigger to get it over with. Puke it out, and then your home. I expect the Replacements to fly up the rankings once his players puke out these early season performances.

7). The Papa Burgandy’s – I’ve never seen someone flip their entire team in 24 hours. It was amazing to see. Some people thought Papa Burgandy had gone mad when he traded away Julio to the hoes. Then, he took it another level, and acquired the crab stealing, W eating, Son of a Gun. The problem with most people is that they only think about tomorrow. Our commish has meditated to the thought of “Someone is sitting in the shade because someone planted a tree back in the day.” He has always been 5 steps ahead of everyone. The Burgandy’s can now make a strong push to get back into playoff contention.

T-8). TPC- I really couldn’t decide between the next two. On one hand, TPC does appear to have a roster that can make some noise the coming weeks. On the other hand, his recent decision making makes you wonder if he has gone on a bender in the last two days. Trading 4 quality players for a RB who has shown glimpse of promise is as inexcusable as sleeping with your step-sister… you just don’t do it. With that said, they don’t call him TPC for no reason, and I don’t think he is done dealing just yet. Tune in to next week.

T-8). Some may wonder if Branch and George have squashed the rivalry after completing 2 trades before week 5 has even started. I don’t think they did. They both are REASONABLE enough to know that it is better to help themselves than to stick to each other. One may actually wonder though, did his Muddogg brother stick knife in his back by giving him Hollywood and Rashaad Penny? His “Brother” eventually turned those assets into Kerryon and an actual emerging RB… I’m not one to connect the dots, but connect the dots. The party isn’t close to being over, and when Aaron is on the floor, everyone better have brought their toe tapping shoes or else they won’t stand a chance.

9) AggSwagg- I think once Tyreeke got hurt, Nick must have went on a bender. Does he know that he is starting Peyton Barber this week? Still, the due has Zeek, Tyreek, Galloday and T Lockett. Matt Ryan may suck in real life, but he is always playing from behind so he will continue to put up stats. Anyone remember Bortles putting up 35 TDs that one year, and then was talked about as a top 5 QB heading into the next season? Well guess what, its not next season, its this season. Aggswagg can still make a run.

10). MGA- MGA is one move away, and a James Conner rehabilitation from flying up the rankings. He has a top 5 Qb and the best player in Fantasy. His top 2 WRs are #1 options, and Devonta Freeman can be dangerous when his head isn’t battered in. Still, MGA needs to find another receiver to fill his flex. This hole could become an issue with Connor not meeting expectations.

11). The Dirty Birds- Some may say this is just being mean spirited, but I rely on the analytics of my Windows 97 software. You know what the analytics say? They say #2 options don’t win championships. #2 options don’t get you to the playoffs. Chubb looks to be growing into his role, and Godwin apparently is protesting good performances when the Dirty Birds choose to start him. Still, I believe there is hope. A two for 1 swap is something that could dramatically improve this team. Did I just hear someone say Todd Gurley? Does the team ranked above him need another starter? Don’t worry Soliz, this advice is free (Credit to me). I know you are over levered and are probably having to pay out the wazzooo to fight a lawsuit from your 2^nd best player. 

PWS Trade Reasonableness Rankings

Here are the PWS trade reasonableness rankings presented by an anonymous member of Reservations4-six.

T-R-A-D-E, we all love and live for the word. PWS has really stepped up its game in the last couple years when it comes to the Trade Game. It all started at the draft when cash trades were being made left and right. Mahomes tried out for 3 teams before he eventually made a home on the BOSS ASSES. The introduction of #TradeTuesday has upped the ante even more and I hope the Trade Game continues to grow all throughout the league. 

In saying that, we all know that there those who are easy to make a fair trade with and there are those who are not. I am writing this article to provide you with the awareness you need that might help you when making your next big deal. 

Trade Reasonableness Rankings 

(1 being the best to trade with, 11 being the worst to trade with)

N/A - Nick Edel. Hasn't made enough trades to be included on the rankings. For someone who always talks about putting their balls on the table he sure does shrivel up when it comes to trades. Better luck next year.

1. Tyler Branch - the man knows a great deal and doesn't hesitate to pull the trigger when he sees one. He made a deal with someone who is ranked #10 on this list while enjoying Salada yesterday on his lunch break. Good and fair deals never stop with this guy. He truly wants what is best for all parties. Those parties being the two best parties there are, PWS and Aaron's Party. 
2. Mike Edel - the Payroll Cowboy is a salesmen through and through. Always in the running for making the most trades each year. Mike finds a guy he likes and doesn't hold back on the offer. He will often pay a premium for the likes of Adrian Peterson, John Brown, and any white WR on the Patriots. Once Mike texts you about a trade, you know a deal is getting done. A reasonably fair deal at that. 
3. Joe Turnbull - I know what you're thinking, two Muddogs in the top 3? Yes. Together you don't want any part of them (often called getting "Muddogged") but apart its a whole different ballgame. Joe just wants BOSS ASS players for all. If you're not trying to trade for Mahomes, Joe is ready to deal with a BOSS ASS ROI coming your way.
4. Dylan Davis - Deals only went he needs to and I respect that. Trades are for changing things up and that is exactly what Dylan is ready to do. No one on Dylan's teams are ever untradable because you can't put all your eggs in one basket in this league. He knows that one week his guy could put up 30 and the next he could be limping off the field with a torn ACL (a common occurrence for Dylan's players). He sells at the right time at a fair price.
5. Drew Jones - Drew only comes in at number 5 because the guy doesn't deal much. Actually he is one of three who hasn't made one trade in PWS this year. You would think with a name like "The Replacements" that he would be more willing to replace his players with other players.
6. Michael Holeman - The commissioner always has to stay partial and can't let one "lopsided" trade in his favor ruin his reputation. Always has to think "would Soliz consider this collusion" before any deal is done. With that attitude, a fair and even deal is all this guy is offering.
7. Phillip Holeman - Phllip actively pursues  trades whether he is first or last. Phillip will trade with anyone and is always open to hearing your offer out before saying "Not tradeable". Phillip offers deals that are at worst worthy of a counter. He has accurate evaluations of player values even players on his team that he likes. He remains unbiased. He's even been a part of multiple 3 team trades. The only member of PWS that can say that. Phillip is a reasonable guy so if he tries to trade for a handcuff please don't ask for starters and for the love of god can someone please take Gurley off his hands before Gurley gets 20 touches a game. Gurley + Kamara with 2 WR1s might extend the Holeman dynasty. Please... dear god someone stop the Holemans.
8. Brett Jones - Well I used to think Brett was a little tough to trade with because he had so many assets and he was waiting to unleash them all for a big time play maker. Guess Brett and I have a different idea of what a big time play maker looks like. Hope this Ronnie doesn't turn out like the last relevant Ronnie in PWS (Ronnie Brown). Brett often mulls over deals for a while only to back out of the deal completely without a counter offer. The People's Champ takes an alter ego when it comes to making deals in this league, The People's Chump.
   
9. Nick Soliz - The guy gets a CHUBB just hearing the word Trade. Only the problem is the data says trading isn't for him. Soliz is always is open to hearing offers, but then spends hours researching only to back out of deal because his Super Computer says otherwise. Pending lawsuits and restraining orders from players like Chris Godwin and Nick Chubb also might hold up trade talks. Soliz also gets too attached to his players to trade them for what he would consider equal value. Guess Soliz has never heard the saying "If you truly love something, let it go".
10. George Bradley - George is always dealing. Never satisfied with his team which I can respect but George uses the tactics off telling you how bad the player is that he wants to trade you for. This complicates things in every trade and makes people reevaluate why George would even want that player. I imagine George would use this meme to describe to an outsider how he tries to trade in PWS:
    
11. Sam Landis - Last but not least. Sam goes with the tactic of telling you who he would like from you team (often the best players) while also telling you that he will not trade any of his best players. Sam is always trying to deal and has probably texted more people about trades than anyone in the league, but has yet to actually make a trade this year. I respect the effort and love that you are always wanting to deal, but the strategy might need to change if you actually want to make a trade. 

PWS Week 4 recap

"He who is resistant to change, is destined to perish"

Week 4 is done. The playoff picture is already starting to come together. Some teams have gone together with the 2019 season like lamb and tuna fish . Other league members are left wondering why they drank so much tequila before the draft. There is time for things to turn around, but that window is rapidly closing.


THE BOSS ASSES vs The Replacements

"Stompy stomps on"

Boss ass nation headed into week 4 already marking it down as a W. The match ups were ripe and they were playing a Replacements squad with Bell on a bye and scarey Terry out with injury. Unfortunately they forgot to show up. The Pats defense would end up out scoring Mahomes Mack and Beckham combined. Mahomes scored a career low 18 fantasy points and no one other than Chris Boswell and the Steel curtain defense stepped up to pick up the slack. For THE BOSS ASSES this is a crushing blow. Dropping 3 straight after opening up week 1 in first. If you listen closely you can hear PWS members "maaan, you are one pathetic loser" - "if I were you I'd walk my fat ass into on coming traffic." "If I drafted a team like that I'd have to kick my own ass" - "you should start cutting your underwear... so it rips easier" Is this the end for THE BOSS ASSES or just a footnote to a 3rd championship season ?

As for The Replacements life couldn't be any better. No matter how much their players under perform they just can't stop winning. Many predicted a Superbowl hangover. At 4-0 and atop the ranking The Replacements have shut the doubters up. They draw EDELman2783 week 5. A 1 v 2 match up with a chance to all but secure a playoff spot and take the early Bye week edge.


KHH vs EDELman2783

"No Barkley no problem"


KHH came into this match up full of Can't stop the Rev swag. So much so that there were whispers of an undefeated season. That all came to an end as KHH had only 1 player eclipse double digits. Still 3-1 and getting Melvin Gordon back this week the future remains as knappy as ever for KHH. As for Mike the squeaky wheel gets the grease this week. Mike has traded aways more HOFers than I can count so far this year and just lost Saquan Barkley. All hope seemed lost. Yet the man is 4-0 and still has AJ Green in the holster.
Every year it seems Mike scores a very one sided trade. This year, perhaps when his team needed it the most, the Payroll Cowboy cashed in. Flipping Ronald Jones for Emanuel Sanders, Golden Tate, Jordan Howard and Russell Wilson. Can Mike Run the Table ? Only time will tell.


Aaron's Party vs The People's Champ

"Aaron's Arrival"

Austin Ekeler had been at the party by himself for 3 weeks getting buzzed. Only problem was the party didn't start till week 4. Rodgers showed up slinging the ball to Davante Adams to help jump start the party. Now that the party is finally bumpin can it be stopped ? One thing is for sure. Austin Ekeler has been asked to leave. TPC has no regrets. Fornette has finally come alive and it's just a matter of time before Watkins blows up again.


AggSwaggg vs Little Giants

"Ball in the Kupp"

AggSwaggg still looks pretty swagless. Without Hill and with an underperforming Zeke AggSwaggg was unable to beat a team that started Daniel Jones, Phillip Dorsett and a defense that gave up 55 points. Hill still hasn't been medically cleared and Edel has refused to make a trade for 5 years and counting. Just how can the swag return ? The Little Giants just keep following the system. Plug in play and move on to the next week. They are quietly sitting at 3-1 and have just done a potential historic bench dump during this weeks waivers. They have added 4 new promising players to the roster and acquired Kyler Murray Via trade. The Little Giants may be small but they know "Football is 80% mentall and 40% physicall"


The Dirty Birds vs The Nature Boys

"Goff's garbage time bonuses"

It's a bird, it's a plane, NO! It's Nick Chubb. Other than Chubbs Heroic performance The Dirty Birds were mostly up to their old tricks again last week as 7 of their 9 starters combined for 30 points. Fortunately they were bailed out by an absurd 517 yards on 70 pass attempts from Goff. Sure they benched Godwin... wait... Godwin was benched.... there is clearly some behind the scenes issues at work here. Did Godwin refuse to play for Soliz ? Is Soliz being threatened? Are the Holemans involved in this scandal ? As we all know the Holemans can't help but collude against this franchise. Will we be getting an article from Michael Holeman himself on this matter? So many questions... so little time and poor Sam is caught in the middle of all this !


The Papa Burgundys vs Miller Gold Agency

"The agency gets out of the Woods"

In a surprise move these two teams made a trade before their matchup up against each other. The players the Agency landed outscored The Burgundys haul 41-24 in what ended up being a 12 point margin. Miller Gold looks to continue their new winning ways after a breakout from Robert Woods. What a sigh of relief that must be. As long as Conner is healthy enough to play this team should get back on the right track and avoid moving to a van down by the river.
The Burgundys have been shopping for new suits, but apparently they have been going to the toilet store. I've heard rumors that The Papa Burgundys are back however, after doing over 1000 curls. Their pants have illusions of a 4th ring and black beards delight might just be the final touch to make those illusions of the pants a reality. I challenge you to Queue the Yazz flute and get yourself a W.


The fight for PWS glory moves on to week 5. Who will come alive and who's team will die?